“Everything has changed and yet, I am more me than I’ve ever been.” – Iaia Thomas
It’s going on three weeks now since my kids moved to other states and started their new life adventures as adults. Prior to their leaving the nest, I was anxious and more than a little sad with anticipation. I wondered how it would feel to come home to an empty house every day. And now that I’m here, well, it’s the oddest thing. For the first time in my adult life, I have no one to focus on but myself.
Let me rephrase. For the first time in my adult life, I have no one to nurture every day other than myself. I’m slightly astonished to report that I’m actually enjoying it. Don’t get me wrong — I miss my kids. I miss the life and laughter they bring to the house. But I am experiencing self-care unlike any other time in my life. When I go to the store, my grocery list is my own (well, and the cats). I sleep through the night without one ear open for confirmation that everyone arrives home safely. I clean up messes that are of my own making. I make purchases for the house that reflect no one’s preference but my own. I don’t want to sound self-centered or absorbed, but I’ve never had this. It feels good to be kind to myself and, frankly, get to know myself as a person and not just “mom”. While my kids are busy trying out their new wings, it feels like I’m testing my own.
Given that I had no obligations after work on a Friday evening, I decided to stop by Laumeier Sculpture Park on the way home to check out their new arrival. The cool thing about this new deer is that photos don’t give any indication of how big this thing is (really big). And it stares at you from the moment you set foot on the grassy field.
After that, I just strolled around the park and enjoyed the breeze. In the process I learned that this place is a hotspot for Pokemon Go players. Um, I had no idea people still played that. But a trio of teenagers behind me discussed their game strategies and struggles for the longest time. I know they were speaking English, but my brain seriously could not process what they were talking about.
Of course I had to see the eyeball.
And this weird egg.
It was a lovely end to a really long week. I’m not sure what’s on the agenda for the weekend. But I’m sure it will be just what I need.