Pause

“In all the chaos and hurry, do not forget to notice the beauty and miracle of this world. Slow down. Notice. Observe. Be aware. Allow presence and awe to come back into your life.” – Brendon Burchard

I’m a pretty good planner –  especially when it comes to vacations and adventures. In fact, I’m a little addicted to planning. I need a horizon to work towards — something to focus on, something to create, something to learn, accomplish or improve.

 I’ve been planning for this particular weekend for months. Years, actually.

This weekend, I was supposed to be in New York City. Today, I was supposed to be taking in the sites of the city as a tourist and tomorrow I was supposed to be running the streets in the New York City Half Marathon as a participant.

After six years of trying to gain entry through the lottery and months of training after finally getting in, the race was cancelled, as were my plans. Obviously this was absolutely necessary and the right thing to do for the health and well-being of all involved — and I’m grateful to those in charge who made the heart-wrenching decision before thousands of people boarded planes and descended upon the city.

But the change in plans has been jarring. Even when I tried to adjust my course and sign up for local half marathon as a Plan B, that, too, was called off.  Again, rightly so.

So this morning, I found myself sitting on the couch in a silent house…a forced pause. And there was a strange relief in not having to do anything. I looked at the lilies on my coffee table and marveled at the gorgeous natural light that still managed to illuminate each petal, even as it rained outside. I thought about all the things I could do with my newly-freed schedule and let out a big, contented sigh when I decided not to do any of them.

Instead, I’m going to give my overworked body, mind and spirit a much-needed breather. Put planning on pause. No looking or working forward. No finding things to learn or improve. Instead, I’ll enjoy my new book. Admire my flowers. Take a long nap. Scratch my cats’ ears. Pray in gratitude for blessings beyond anything I deserve. Stop pushing so hard. Rest. Allow myself to be content.

And remember just how lucky I really am.

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