Distracted Churchgoer


This is what I noticed sitting next to me at church this morning. It was 16 degrees outside. Bare knees and feet. Why?

This photo set off a stream of thoughts that I can only describe as feeling like my brain was live-tweeting throughout the service.

Here’s a sampling:

“Hun, it’s 16 degrees outside. Put some real shoes on. And some pants.”

“Wouldn’t it have been just as easy to put on some Uggs?”

“Did I really just take a photo during church? I’m going to hell.”

“Look at that guy carrying that baby out of here like a sack of potatoes.”

“Wonder if I could take a picture of that girl hiding under her mom’s cape? That’s hilarious.”

“How do people with bad knees deal with these kneelers?”

“Family of four in front of me = the Beautiful Ones. Golden retriever likely waiting at home.”

“O.M.G. Youngest Beautiful One looks like Prince Eric from Little Mermaid. Only with 5 o’clock shadow.”

“Seriously. How is one guy’s hair and face so perfect?”

“Where is that chime coming from? It like Tinker Bell from Peter Pan is in the house.”

“Whoa, this song is gorgeous. I wonder if there are hymns on iTunes?”

“Wouldn’t there be backwash in community communion cups?”

“Why do so many people leave after communion? The benediction is the best part.”

“I like this place. I’ll be back.”

I don’t know what got into me, but my mind was all over the place. I still enjoyed the message and the service, but I was much more distracted and amused by my surroundings than usual.

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