Who knew that Bread Company takeout could produce some of the best people watching ever.

Seriously, it was a bit of a freak show today.

The first person I saw was the woman to the right. Standing in line ahead of me, she reminded me of rock candy. Rhinestones were everywhere. Then I glanced at a nearby table and saw the gentleman to the left. Okay, these two have got to be together. They’re practically wearing the same jewelry!

I watched for the woman to take her seat…where’s she going…where’s she going…what??

I seriously wanted to introduce them. I mean look at them! They’re a match.com commercial waiting to happen! They could have a fairy tale companionship based on mutual trust and the ability to accessorize!

And if these two weren’t enough, there were two other colorful folks that I couldn’t photograph with discretion. There was a kid with a bright turquoise mohawk who seriously looked like he had a muppet pelt on his head. Then there was a tiny old woman wearing an ill-fitting camisole that showed most of her bra. Her skin was — and continues to be — overexposed to the sun and she resembled an orange leather raisin. And when she opened her mouth to speak, that tiny little body produced a gravely, baritone voice that indicated years of chain smoking. 

Did I mention that my order was to go? So this people watching lasted all of five to eight minutes. I wonder who I would’ve seen had I actually dined in!