“Do the thing that brings you joy. Buy yourself the flowers. Drink your coffee (or tea) from your favorite mug. Laugh with a friend until your stomach hurts. Watch the sunset. Dance in the kitchen. Take the long way home.

Because joy isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you choose, amidst the struggle and in life’s tender moments, that makes life worth living. Embrace the people and things that bring your heart healthy doses of joy.” — @thebehappyproject

I love this so much. But I don’t love it simply because I relate to practically everything in the list in the first paragraph. It’s also the second paragraph that resonates. If I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that we can only fully benefit from the things we love if we slow down and become truly present, intentional, and grateful. More simply put, we have to learn to recognize joy.

It’s true that I buy fresh flowers each week, but I’ve realized it’s not simply because I like having them in the house. I savor the process of extending a kindness to myself — picking out my favorite blooms, arranging them at home, and admiring them until they fade. I buy flowers each week because I recognize the full extent of the joy they bring.

A more recent choice I’ve been making includes hot chai before bed. I don’t allow myself to do anything else. I sit on the couch and enjoy the warmth of a thick stoneware mug in my hands, the scent of spices, and the sweet taste of creamy tea. No phone, no television, nothing. Only my tea and perhaps a warm dog curled up next to me. It’s only a few minutes, but I’ve learned that intentional pause is the perfect source of contentment I need to wind down before sleep.

Life can be so darn stressful, chaotic, and just plain hard. But how cool is it that we get to gift ourselves these little experiences that can infuse our lives with so much goodness. We only need to make a conscious choice to do so and learn to live in a state of recognition and gratitude.

(On the subject of joy, the above images include Finnegan and my parents’ Christmas tree, some recent cookies, and my son and daughter-in-law’s dog, Ivy.)