Every now and then I read a blog of “Dear So and So” notes. It’s really funny. It’s the blogger’s way of expressing what he/she is thinking about someone without actually saying it out loud. A couple of things happened today that instantly brought “Dear So and So” notes to my mind.

When I picked up these St. Patrick’s Day cookies at a local bakery/coffee place, there were several tables filled with older gentlemen/retirees. I gathered from their argyle sweater vests and perfectly creased slacks that they belong to the country club set. As I headed to the door, I had to step over an extension cord leading to one of their tables. High tech retirees with laptops, maybe? Uh, no. The extension cord was powering a magnifying lamp. One of the dudes was using the lamp to cross stitch a design that read, “I love golf.” So here goes:

“Dear cross-stitching-golf-lover-guy….
I choose to believe that you are extremely secure in your masculinity rather than assume that you’ve just given up.”

Quick trip to the grocery store over lunch:

“Dear Trader Joe’s…
I’d really like to say that I frequent your store for your wonderful selection of organic foods and environmentally-conscious bags, but to be brutally honest, it’s all about your flowers.”

Late afternoon breeze through my open bedroom windows carried in the sounds of spring: singing birds, rustling leaves, the perpetual bounce of our backyard neighbors’ basketball.

“Dear Dad-Desperately-Needing-Therapy…
While I appreciate the quality time you spend practicing hoops with your 7- or 8-year old son, do you really think he finds it motivating when you say, “That’s the worst shot I’ve ever seen in my entire life. And I thought your last shot was bad.”

And last but certainly not least:

“Dear Hateful, Evil Critter in My Roof…
It’s been more than a month since you gained access to my attic through the gutter you tore up. As a rule, I am vehemently opposed to animal cruelty. But the more you scratch the ceiling above my bed at 2 and 3 in the morning, the more willing I become to make you the exception to my rule. Please go shack up at the neighbor’s.”