This was in front of me in the drive-thru last night. Yes, the woman got out of her car to pay for and collect her food. I know her windows were working because I saw her place her order (which took an unusually long time — should’ve been a red flag). So what the heck is that? It was 30 degrees! Didn’t she go through the drive-thru to avoid getting out of the car like all normal people? It was obvious that she just didn’t get the concept. As I drove away (after picking up my jaw), I thought about an alarming concept: this woman can probably vote. Or reproduce. Maybe I’m just being mean, but that really bothers me.

Then later last night, I took Tanner to play his first round in a tennis tournament over in Illinois. We stopped by a convenience store to pick up some gatorade and we stood in line to pay behind an impeccably dressed woman. I mean she was perfect — all the way from her long blonde hair to her perfectly tailored (likely size 2) jeans and leather coat to her enormous designer satchel. Suddenly feeling quite frumpy, I tried to avoid looking at her. But then something amazing happened. Evidently someone from her household had taken money out of her purse and she couldn’t pay for her stuff. She got out her pink rhinestone-covered phone, called the culprit and yelled a string of words that made me want to put my hands over Tanner’s ears. It was hilarious. Wide-eyed, the cashiers and other customers just looked at each other. She finally finished her tirade, threw her phone in her purse and shoved the bottle of alcohol back at the cashier (that we hadn’t noticed to this point) and said, “Fine. Take this off my total. I’ve got to have enough for my cigarettes.” We all held our breath until her five inch heels stomped out the door — and then busted out laughing. In less than two minutes, Miss Perfection had turned into Miss White Trash.

My jewelry show is today and I’m all set. I don’t feel like I have as much stuff as in past shows, but we’ll see. I hope it goes well…